Memory Lane

It might just be me. because I grew up away from 'home', but there are certain sights, smells, feelings or any outside stimulus that make memories pop into my head. Sometimes I might burst out laughing, but unfortunately most of the time it end up with me crying. They should make me happy that I have these memories and that I can think about them whenever and no-one can take them away from me. But they just make me sad, because I know that I have no-one to share them with, because no-one can relate to them, not even my parents who were there with me ( they usually don't remember half the things I'd like them to ).

Sorry, I should have mentioned at the start that this was going to be a pretty melancholy post, but I'll warn you now ;)

Okay, so sine I grew up in Australia there aren't many things that I can say about my childhood that anyone can relate to here. For example everyone knows what 'sign' they were in preschool, well I didn't have a sign. Yeah it sounds silly, but when there are hundreds of little things like this, it gets king of upsetting.

I don't think I could ever begin to explain to anyone what feelings I get when I remember certain things. It's like I live in two worlds (yes this is the point where everything gets very sentimental, and spiritual) one world that everyone else lives in, with all the problems and things that I can share, and then there's the 'other' world that is just all happy memories. My life in Australia, holidays with my family. Most of these 'other' world thoughts I can't place though. I have No clue where I was when they happened, I just know that I was happy and carefree. Probably because I was a child, and no matter where I would have been it would seem like I was carefree and problemless, but the harsh line between Australia and here makes it so much stronger.

The best way to describe it I guess is like that part of my childhood never happened and I just dreamed it.

Other people can visit all the places they were when they were a child and think fondly to themselves 'Hmm.. that was the swing I sat on, on my 7th birthday and my mum stood there.. ' etc...  Sort of reliving the memories, and reassuring their subconscious that it DID actually happen and that it wasn't all just a dream. ( A ton of times I can't tell if I dreamed something or it really happened, now that I think about it, it might have to do with all this ) They can also talk to their friends that were there, living their memories with them. Since I have no contact with any of my friends in Australia because I was only 10 when we left. I don't have that option. So it's all one big messed up dream.

I'd love to go back and relive the memories, but I'm actually terrified that nothing will be the same anymore, and then what will I think fondly back to?

Hmm.. :/
Sorry for the heart-to-heart post recently, it's just that since I have nothing horsey to post about or to think about for that matter I start to think about really random spiritual things. But thanks for bearing with me :P

Ohh and since I do gel nails I thought for want of a better mood I'd post some keewwwll nails.





Before you ask, yes I do have a whole folder filled with nail designs :D
Come on even I get stuck for inspiration sometimes ;P

'Till next time ;)